TAXATION ACCOUNTANT

“Every year in July it’s time for a taxation accountant

If the clichés are right, then there really are only two certainties in life: death and taxes. Well, that and the fact that sporting teams can only ever take it one game at a time, you can’t count your chickens before they hatch, and sometimes disagreements are really only a storm in a teacup.

But, alas, taxes are an inevitability. A painful, painful inevitability. An inevitability that, when you’re in the middle of enduring it, can make the other certainty – death – seem like the sweetest relief.

The end of June rolls around and everyone starts to freak out. Businesses go crazy trying to get all their expenses rolled out so they can claim it for the following year. Retailers go into meltdown trying to accommodate all the shopping needs of the businesses. And then there are the individuals, looking under the bed trying to find their receipts so the scary tax person won’t come knocking on the door in the middle of the night.

So, the end of June gets closer and closer and then, bam, there it is. Suddenly July rolls around and everyone scrambles to get organised. They try to figure out the latest government program so you can do your tax yourself, but after the hours of getting to the end of all the questions, aren’t happy with the projected return.

Enter the all powerful tax accountant. Like some kind of mythical magician, a modern day Merlin, he or she puts some numbers into the computer, unleashes some mouse clicks and types away furiously at the keyboard. Voila! Out of nowhere comes a tax return far better than expected. Everybody wins!

And like some kind of nerdy superhero, our taxation accountant creeps away into the night, a job well done. He or she is the hero we deserve, but not the one we need right now—not until tax time next year anyway.